Ashton Kutcher Fighting Off ‘Five Killers’ For Action Comedy

Finally, Ashton Kutcher is getting his chance to play shoot-em-up with the big boys! Variety reports that Kutcher is set to star in “Five Killers,” an action-comedy from Lionsgate that will start filming early next year.

He’ll play a former hit man whose life is turned upside down because someone from his dark and nasty past has paid a group of killers to bump him off. Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone is going to be jumping out and shouting “You’ve just been Punk’d!” just as things are getting really bad.

The movie will be directed by Robert Luketic, who made a surprising splash at the box office this year with “21.” He’s fresh off “The Ugly Truth,” the romantic-comedy starring Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl. I think he should lean on that connection to action-man Gerard Butler, and see if he can’t get him to play the man who would kill Kutcher. Every movie can use a former Guy Ritchie gangster, right?

Kutcher seems long overdue for an action-comedy — he’s been stuck in the romantic side of the movie pool for far too long. I thought he might be set for a new, action-oriented career path after “The Guardian,” and maybe he’s finally making a run for it.

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‘W.’ movie

A man stands in the middle of a sunny baseball field, beaming a smile as the roar of an approving crowd is heard.

An echoing announcer’s voice calls out his name:

Ladies and gentlemen, the 43rd president of the United States …” But as the camera pans back, the cheering fades, and the stadium is revealed to be empty.

With outstretched arms and raised head, the character’s body forms an unmistakable symbol: W.

It’s the opening scene of Oliver Stone’s movie of the same name, which he is still racing to finish in time for its debut Oct. 17.

Stone chronicles the youth of George W. Bush, his rise to the White House and the crises he has faced over the past eight years. And it’s a comedy.

Though dramatizing culture and politics is familiar ground for the director of JFK, Nixon and World Trade Center, this film’s satiric tone is something new for him. Not that he thinks the actual history is funny.

It was so painful for me. The reaction is to laugh a little because the pain would be too much,” he says, sitting in his office after showing the first act of the movie in his editing bay.

The baseball stadium intro?

We all have retreat fantasies,” Stone says with a laugh. “He did have the express desire to be baseball commissioner, and I think some people, historically, would say if he had become baseball commissioner, it would have saved us a lot of problems.”

Cast of big names

W. features an all-star cast playing the White House’s highest-profile figures: Josh Brolin as the president, Elizabeth Banks as Laura Bush, Richard Dreyfuss as Vice President Cheney, Jeffrey Wright as Secretary of State Colin Powell, Thandie Newton as Condoleezza Rice and James Cromwell as George H.W. Bush.

Stone, an outspoken liberal, Vietnam War veteran and longtime cinematic provocateur, is not an admirer of the president. And he’s prepared to be dismissed by Bush die-hards.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008) movie

Also Known As:     South of the Border

Production Status:     In Production/Awaiting Release

Logline:     Mitzi, a pampered Beverly Hills Chihuahua accustomed to riding in a purse goes to a spa vacation in Mexico with her owner, but when she gets lost she is forced to find her way back home.

Genres:     Action/Adventure and Comedy

Release Date:     October 3rd, 2008 (wide)

MPAA Rating:     PG for some mild thematic elements.

Distributors:     Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

Production Co.:     Mandeville Films/TV, Smart Entertainment

Studios:     Walt Disney Pictures

Filming Locations:     Mexico

Produced in:     United States

Starring:      Drew Barrymore, George Lopez, Andy Garcia, Piper Perabo, Manolo Cardona

Directed by:     Raja Gosnell

Produced by:     Steven Nicolaides, John L. Jacobs, David Hoberman

GO  BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA Undersized lapdogs make me grumpy even when they don’t talk, wear pink booties and shop Rodeo Drive.

So I came to Beverly Hills Chihuahua with poison pen at the ready — only to be won over by the exuberant charms of Raja Gosnell’s comedy about a snobby, privileged Chihuahua named Chloe (voiced by Drew Barrymore) and her similarly spoiled-rotten 90210 dog ­sitter (Piper Perabo). The twosome grow some backbone when they get lost in the bowels of Baja, where the pooch must be rescued from the clutches of Mexican dogfight wranglers.

If the studios are finally going to make their mark on Latino audiences, they could do a lot worse than this wicked satire on Beverly Hills pet excess, with its sharp script, a fun performance by Jamie Lee Curtis as Chloe’s overindulgent owner, and a mostly Spanish-speaking cast that includes Andy Garcia as a clapped-out police dog, Cheech Marin as a cunning rat who’s after Chloe’s Harry Winston collar, and George Lopez as a Chihuahua from the wrong side of the tracks who loves Chloe. This being Disney, wholesome character-building messages abound, but for once they’re freshly spun as cautions against stereotyping both ethnic and canine.

And if, having seen Beverly Hills Chihuahua, your children grow up without the desire to turn their pets into idiot fashion accessories or extensions of their own shopaholic fantasies, so much the better. (Citywide) (Ella Taylor)

An American Carol movie

An American Carol movie

Also Known As:   An American Carol

Production Status:     In Production/Awaiting Release

Genres:     Comedy

Release Date:     October 3rd, 2008 (wide)

MPAA Rating:     PG-13 for rude and irreverent content, and for language and brief drug material.

Distributors:   Vivendi Entertainment

Production Co.: Mpower Pictures

Filming Locations:  Los Angeles, California, United States

Produced in: United States

Starring:       Kelsey Grammer, Jon Voight, Trace Adkins, James Woods, Jon Voight

Directed by:     David Zucker

Produced by:     David Zucker, Steve McEveety, John Shepherd

Back in the ol’ underclassmen days at college I befriended a number of budding garage band music artists who were always happy to give me their home-burned CDs that were destined to take them to high places. They all sucked. Every song. I keep these little mementos as a reminder some people shouldn’t have dreams. Of the many terrible qualities of these songs is their piercing ability to stick to your psyche long after you’ve tried drinking the memories away.

One of the many songs still stuck in my head eight years after I heard it for the first and only team is a nice little number entitled “Sick of America” by some liberal student I knew. Much like the title, the song was an endless predictable rhyme about how other nations are more fun than America. I’ll even admit other nations have their charms and youth should be spent exploring the world and expanding horizons. It doesn’t mean the song doesn’t suck.

I mention all of this only because I’m reviewing the latest David Zucker film “An American Carol.” The movie targeted America haters and reinforced an idea that had been in my head for a long time; if you’re sick of America, leave.

It’s a rare treat for me to be invited to a movie premier, and the pre-screening party didn’t skimp any expense. A modern version of the Andrews Sisters calling themselves “The Liberty Belles” (Apparently they’re USO regulars) danced and sang onstage while the open bar attracted my interest. Three hours of partying and it was time to get to the movie theatre.

Burn After Reading movie release September 12 2008

Genre Comedy, Drama
Release Date September 12, 2008
Studio Focus Features

Starring

George Clooney as Harry Pfarrer
John Malkovich as Osbourne Cox
Frances McDormand
Brad Pitt as Chad Feldheimer
Tilda Swinton as Katie Cox
Richard Jenkins
Logan Kulick
Lenny Venito

The Coen brothers’ follow-up to their Best Picture-winning No Country for Old Men is — no surprise for this offbeat filmmaking duo — its polar opposite. A sort of Fargo on helium, Burn is a goofball crime caper about two dim-witted gym employees (Pitt and Frances McDormand) who try to extort a curmudgeonly CIA agent (Malkovich) after they come across a CD-ROM containing possibly classified information. A-list names like Clooney and Pitt may sell the most tickets, but it’s the potty-mouthed Malkovich who easily racks up the most laughs. “The first scene I did was a phone call with Brad and Frances,” says Malkovich, whose character drops countless F-bombs throughout the film. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t be there on the soundstage because I was rehearsing a play. So I did it from an apartment in Paris. It was really late at night and I was screaming at the top of my lungs. God knows what the neighbors thought.”

Also along for the ride is newly minted Academy Award winner Swinton, as Malkovich’s testy wife, while Clooney plays her scheming lover — though that doesn’t mean the former Michael Clayton adversaries, who filmed Burn during last year’s Oscar-campaign season, have the best onscreen relationship this go-around, either. Recalls Swinton: “At the end of the shoot, George said, touchingly, wistfully, ‘Well, maybe one day we’ll get to make a film together when we say one nice thing to each other.'”

Ping Pong Playa-movie release September 5 2008

Starring: Jimmy Tsai, Andrew Vo, Khary Payton, Roger Fan, Jim Lau
Directed by: Jessica Yu
Produced by: Jeff Gou, Anne Clements, Michael O. Gallant

Genres: Comedy, Romance and Sports
Running Time: 1 hr. 36 min.
Release Date: September 5th, 2008 (limited)
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for language, including some sexual remarks and drug references.
Distributors: IFC Films

Christopher “C-DUB” Wang is a young Chinese-American man who presents himself with a streetwise, ghetto swagger and dreams of a career as a basketball star. But soon he finds his real gift as a ping-pong player and coach, leading an odd squad of students to a local championship.

Young People F*cking Movie Review – 29 August 2008

Starring: Diora Baird, Carly Pope, Callum Blue, Sonja Bennett, Aaron Abrams
Directed by: Martin Gero
Produced by: Aaron Abrams, Michael Baker (V), Glenn Cockburn
Genres: Art/Foreign and Comedy
Running Time: 1 hr. 30 min.
Release Date: August 29th, 2008 (limited)
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Distributors:
Blowtorch Entertainment, Blowtorch Entertainment

Featuring clever and natural dialogue that is anchored by uniformly impressive performances from the young (mostly) Canadian cast, Young People F*cking is a refreshingly real sex comedy sure to be a cult favourite with many. What makes YPF stand out from the endless parade of soulless sex romps are the embarrassingly accurate observations and organically derived laughs. It struggles only in maintaining its tone as the slice of life insights are unable to carry to weight of an entire narrative.

The film follows the sexual pursuits of five separate pairings (and triplicate) as defined by non-diegetic on screen titles: the friends, the couple, the exes, the first date and the roommates. Each story is unraveled on its own without need to intermingle characters for purpose of connectivity; they are connected thematically, defining an overall dramatic arc and observation about modern relationships.

Best friends Matt and Kris (Aaron Abrams & Carly Pope) decide to take their platonic friendship to f*ckbuddy status. Kris is more comfortable with the arrangement, needing to urge on her friend with booze as he struggles to sexualize his longtime female companion. Amusement is derived from the friendly discussions that arise and honest revelations about how it feels to watch a buddy provide oral sex.

Abby (Kristin Booth) & Andrew (Josh Dean) play the couple, who find themselves in a sexual rut, going through the motions without any real desire. It’s a painfully relatable depiction of long term relationships and the discussion of fantasy screws while Andrew goes down on Abby is absolutely hilarious. Who knew that anything involving Ian Ziering could be laugh-out-loud funny?

The most complex and dramatic story comes from exes Mia & Eric (Sonja Bennett & Josh Cooke). The pair comes together for one last meeting and attempt to revisit a sexual encounter without strings and emotional entanglement. Unsurprisingly, it inspires memories, both fond and unhappy, which make the simple shag that much more complicated and difficult.

The first date segment is an amusing look at male/female manipulation and power struggles as Ken (Callum Blue) tries to get into Jamie’s (Diora Baird) pants by convincing her that he’s not interested in a one night stand. The mismatched dynamic and unique neuroses demonstrated give a needed sense of unfamiliarity to the overall text of the film.

Unsurprisingly, the most overtly comedic storyline involves a sexually liberal couple, Gord & Inez (Ennis Esmer & Natalie Lisinska), who invite Gord’s reserved roommate Dave (Peter Oldring) into the bedroom for a threesome. Dave is initially keen on the idea, until he notices that Gord intends only to observe and narrate the sex act while eating cookie dough. The needed chemistry and awkwardness between the three is what makes this sequence as bizarre and memorable as it proves to be.

If there is one indie comedy to see in the summer of 2008, it is Young People F*cking. Giving the genre a much-needed kick in the formulaic arse, it proves to be one of the most genuine and true comedies in some time. One would be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t find charm and amusement in this movie.

moviesonline.ca

Disaster Movie August 29 2008

Starring: Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian, G-Thang

Directed by: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Produced by: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, Peter Safran

Genre(s): Comedy, Romance

In DISASTER MOVIE, the filmmaking team behind the hits “Scary Movie,” “Date Movie,” “Epic Movie” and “Meet The Spartans” this time puts its unique, inimitable stamp on one of the biggest and most bloated movie genres of all time — the disaster film. DISASTER MOVIE follows the comic misadventures of a group of ridiculously attractive twenty-somethings during one fateful night as they try to make their way to safety while every known natural disaster and catastrophic event — asteroids, twisters, earthquakes, the works — hits the city and their path as they try to solve a series of mysteries to end the rampant destruction. Taking aim at everything and everyone, from “Indiana Jones” and “Iron Man” to Amy Winehouse and “High School Musical,” DISASTER MOVIE lampoons the blockbuster movie, pop culture icons and public figures along the way as Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer satirize everything as only they can.

College Movie Datye release 29 August 2008

Genres: Comedy and Teen

Release Date:August 29th, 2008 (wide)

Distributors: Lionsgate, MGM Distribution Company

Starring:Andrew Caldwell, Drake Bell, Kevin Covais, Alona Tal, Ryan Pinkston

Directed by: Deb Hagan

Produced by: Sam Nazarian, J. Malcolm Petal, Marc Schaberg

A new outrageous comedy, COLLEGE is the story of three high school seniors (Drake Bell, Andrew Caldwell and Kevin Covais) who visit a local college campus as prospective freshman anticipating the best weekend of their lives. Once there, the rowdiest fraternity on campus (featuring Nick Zano, Gary Owen and Zach Cregger) decides to recruit the boys as pledges, subjecting them to endless humiliations, in return for granting them access to the no-holds-barred college party scene. But once the boys catch the eye of some of the older sorority girls (Haley Bennett, Camille Mana and Natalie Walker), the threatened Frat-boys increase the pre-frosh humiliation and blackmail them by threatening to expose their age. The boys decide to fight back, retaliating with a major revenge scheme that lands them on top.

Pineapple Express movie- Date release 6 August 2008

The Pineapple Express

Genres: Action/Adventure and Comedy
Release Date: August 6th, 2008 (wide)
MPAA Rating: R for pervasive language, drug use, sexual references and violence.
Distributors: Sony Pictures Releasing

Directed by David Gordon Green.

Starring: Gary Cole, Rosie Perez, Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny R. McBride, Amber Heard.

I won’t get into the precise reasons, but my friends always seem to think I’m going to LOVE the next big “pot comedy.” They chuckle and assume such silly things despite the fact that the only real pothead comedies that I truly enjoy are Up in Smoke, Next Movie, and a large portion of the Harold & Kumar misadventures. Frankly I’m of the opinion that most pot comedies feel like they were written by someone very stoned, and let’s just say that writers don’t always do their best work when they’re extra-baked. (They might THINK their stuff is hilarious, but usually it’s not. That’s just the weed talking.) Oh, you’ll definitely find a few cannabis-caked giggles in Half-Baked, Grandma’s Boy, and Smiley Face — just not enough to sustain a whole movie, if it’s me you’re asking.

So it is with much pleasure, enthusiasm, and recently-applied Visine that I offer you Pineapple Express, which just may be the Casablanca of Pot Comedies. Or perhaps it’s more like When Ultra-High Harry Met Super-Stoned Sally, but either way Pineapple Express showcases some of the funniest “weed culture” insights since the arrival of Richard Linklater’s fantastic Dazed & Confused — which I wouldn’t call a full-bore “pot comedy,” but it sure isn’t shy about passing those joints around. Best of all, while Pineapple Express will absolutely appeal to both the casual and committed pot-smokers, it’s also just a very funny buddy comedy / action flick parody that comes bearing the very unique stamp of director David Gordon Green.